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Written by a woman (my comments are in blue):
Love American Style
I stumbled onto a disturbing how-to site when I was blog-surfing. The title was too intriguing, and like a a raccoon drawn to a shiny button, I clicked on the link to come face to face with a problem I never really knew I had.
If this site is to be believed, American men hate their marriages to American women.
Yep, you read that correctly. Among other things, this site outlines in great detail all of the ways that American women have devolved into bitter, controlling, spiteful, fat, lazy, manipulative bitches who feel entitled to "the good life" at the expense of their husband's health, happiness and well-being.
You know, I realize that this site is biased, and more than likely written by an embittered ex-husband (wrong, never been married, no children), but as much as I hate to say it, there is some validity to the site. I think that is what bothers me the most.
Do my women friends have a sense of entitlement? Yep.
Are all of my women friends on Prozac? Yep. (every single woman she knows is on medication)
Does every couple I know have power struggles about money and chores? Yep.
Do the women I know push for the big house and the new SUV? Yep.
Are most of my friends divorced AT LEAST once? Yep.
Do I know men living in poverty after divorce court? Yep.
I hate to draw comparisons, but I am continually drawing the comparison of American men seeking foreign wives to American corporations seeking foreign labor. Is that all marriage is: a division of physical labor and a promise of fidelity? Is it that simple? Have we American women fucked it up so badly with our demands for equality and our sense of entitlement?
When the hell did this happen? When did men and women choose opposing sides and begin this war? Maybe it was when the economy began to necessitate that women work to support the household.
Maybe it was when American men began to lose ground in Corporate America. When college-educated American women started climbing ladders and kicking the men off on the way up.
Women my age were raised watching Mary Tyler Moore, One Day At A Time and Alice, where single, divorced and widowed women were making it on their own.
I watched my mother work full time. I was a daycare kid. I never had any ambitions to be a stay-at-home mom and I always intended to have a career. I have to admit that the craft of homemaking is not my priority, but I would dearly love to have the warmth of a well-tended, perfectly decorated home full of homemade bread and handmade quilts. That explains the cult-like fascination with Martha Stewart Omnimedia - she presents the ideal professional woman who has nurtured her home. Of course, her husband ran off with her secretary, and her daughter is estranged. Hmm.
American women ARE bitter. We are bitter because we were sold a bill of goods about how much better it was to have a career and put the babies into daycare than it was to stay home, rock the baby and cook and clean. We ARE pissed off because we are working as hard as men are, and we are still mothers and we are still doing the housework, and damn it, we went to college, earned the grades, were promised equality, and when we got a taste of it, we didn't like it as much as we were promised that we would. Something suffers - home or career. I don't personally know a woman yet that has been able to do justice to both.
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