Most of the time people seem so gung hoe about getting married, believing it will all be peaches and cream. Well, first and foremost marriage takes work, there’s no way around it. It will not be easy, it will not be like your college days, get real. But it can be an awesome experience with more fun times than you can shake a stick at if you take a few steps BEFORE you take the plunge.
Talk about children – Believe it or not this is one of the biggest mistakes newlyweds make. They peruse over the child subject but never actually discuss it in depth. Now you tell me what happens when one of you wants kids and the other is adminantly against having children. World war 3 is what happens.
Then on top of that you have the nasty divorce and court crap to go through. Who wants that? No one as far as I know, so do both of yourselves a favor and talk about having children BEFORE you walk down that isle.
Discuss finances – This is another big conversation that has and will continue to lead to divorce if people don’t take the time to talk about it. You two should try and decide (realistically of course) what kind of lifestyle you want. If you’re not a millionaire then don’t plan for a summer home in the Hamptons.
Who is going to bring home the bacon? One of you? Both of you? Who will be spending the majority of the money? What will it be on? Do you need a set budget to stay afloat?
Serious questions that deserve serious attention and serious answers. Get to talking or hire a lawyer. You’ll need a good divorce one.
Prenup? – Dunt Dunt Duuuuuhhhhh the huge question, should we get a prenup? Honestly that depends on your personal situation but if either one of you feels it may be necessary then you should talk about it. What if the man comes in the marriage with a whole lot and the woman comes into it with nothing?
At that point it doesn’t seem fair that the man loses half his stuff if the marriage doesn’t work out. Now this is obviously void in cases of adultery or spousal abuse, but irreconcilable differences are the leading cause of divorce these days. That means if you grow apart then she still gets half your stuff. Go over things, and talk about it. A conversation can’t hurt, but leaving things unsaid can.
Now a days it seems as though marriage is more of a joke, or a fun thing to do for a couple months. But what the celebs aren’t telling us is how much money and time and grief it costs to go through. If you truly want to marry someone then you need to have these big discussions, trust me they could literally make or break your marriage if you let them sit un-discussed. Don’t put yourself through that nonsense.